Counseling and Arguments (redacted)

So we had a good counseling session last night. I really do think (and both Becky and they agree) that we’ve finally cleared away enough dreck and dead wood that we’re starting to make progress moving forwards. We even talked about how Thursday went down. And came up with some alternatives in the future for bad days that won’t include her chatting up various guys online and lying to me about how she was doing, but won’t necessarily involve me giving up whatever I was doing either. Not that I would mind, but it makes her feel guilty.

We kind of had a fight/argument/discussion after that, but I think in the end we found some common ground to view some of the communication/questions from. Given her betrayal and prolonged, blatant dishonesty about parts of it, I find myself looking for some reassurance that she’s actually telling the truth. So if I preface questions with that, and she relaxes a little about things so that she’s not always assuming I’m cross examining her if I ask a similar question, I think things will go a little smoother. I don’t understand why that is her first thought, especially with all the obvious differences we’ve identified lately. I asked her one day if she was chatting with Mr Y, and she said not much. Then a little while later it came out that it was an hour and a half. To me, that is more than not much, but more importantly shows how easily misunderstandings and miscommunication creeps in.

(content redacted due to reactions/misunderstandings)

The end of the week was just a little weird for me. I feel like I have too many things currently stacked up in the “nobody I can talk to about it” category. With how things went down with Becky Thursday night and Friday, I realized that there are a few tags piling up in the can’t talk to her about it category. Not necessarily good or bad things, some are just things that happened in my life, discussions I had, etc. Obviously, anything that I can’t talk to her about, I can’t blog about or talk to almost any of my other friends about. Tom is out of town, so maybe I’ll try to get together with him when he gets back.

Final closing random thought before I go work on the truck: I never expected marriage to solve loneliness issues. I really wasn’t prepared for it to aggravate them. Silly me.