Well, Becky put me into a reasonably well adjusted mindset before falling asleep at 11:30, so even though I was wide awake at midnight, it wasn’t bad at all. I don’t know if it was intentional or accidental on her part, but appreciated nonetheless.
I was going to try and take the kids to church this morning, but couldn’t deal with Molly’s attitude all by myself. I was concerned that I would do or say something I regretted in the process of trying to get her dressed and out the door, let alone to class or deal with her during the sermon. The one area in her life that hasn’t been helped by school is her attitude at home. I don’t know if it is worse because she keeps it bottled up all day during the day at school and then has to let it all out in a few short hours, or what.
I’m still struggling for motivation for getting chores and things done, but I think that is as much from tiredness and emotional fatigue as depression or sadness. I really don’t think I am depressed these days. I don’t question that I probably was during the low points of dealing (or not dealing) with my dad. I should have gotten some counseling, as I wouldn’t have left Becky feeling isolated.
She’s over at a friends house tonight to hang out and talk. At this point I trust that she is actually over there, although I don’t know how much of that is because I actually trust her or because I’m pretty sure the friend wouldn’t cover for her and I talk to that friend sometimes. Not a great place to be on my part. I’m just not sure how to regrow trust any faster.
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